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Dedicate to Collaborate

Reflections from a peacemaking lawyer and mediator dedicated to collaborative problem-solving.
Sep
16

8 tips to make your first mediation meeting a success.

2020-09-16
Mediation, while usually far less stressful than a court case, can be a nerve-wracking process. You may have trouble controlling your emotions, you may be nervous about what the future holds, you may worry about being heard and understood. Frankly, you'll be glad once the whole thing is over. But, I promise you, it doesn't have to be a huge ordeal....
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Aug
28

Preparing for online mediation in 5 easy steps.

2020-08-28
With the COVID pandemic showing no signs of abating any time soon, it looks like we'll be continuing with virtual mediation for the foreseeable future. And this doesn't have to be a bad thing: after conducting most of my work over the last few months via Zoom, I've actually become quite the convert — it has plenty of advantages for both the mediato...
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Aug
17

How to control your emotions when going through a divorce.

Untitled-design-19
It's a cruel irony: the very time in your life when you're feeling most vulnerable is the very time you most need to keep a level head, an even temper, and a civil tongue. No, it's not going to be easy, but learning to control your emotions as you go through the divorce process is one of the very best things you can do to ensure that everything run...
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Mar
16

How I’m making dispute resolution even easier

2020-03-16-2
I've always had a passion for access to justice –– a fundamental tenet of the work I do is that everyone should be able to get the legal help they need, no matter who they are, or what's going on for them. Above all, it matters to me that my practice is "human-friendly," by which I mean, it needs to work with your life, not the other way around. An...
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Jan
28

The two big mistakes people make in trying to get at the "truth" of a conflict

2020-01-13-2
Imagine that you're overseeing a mediation between a couple who's getting a divorce. One person tells a story of being abandoned, painting a picture where their spouse is never there for them, behaves irresponsibly, and has clearly demonstrated that they don't want to be in the marriage any more. The other spouse looks at them like they're crazy, a...
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Nov
06

Returning the favor: why reciprocation bias is making your divorce harder than it needs to be.

2019-11-06-2
Think about a time when a friend invited you to dinner or offered you a ride you felt an intense desire to cook for them next time, or to return the favor in some way, didn't you? And sure, you assumed that was simply because you've been brought up that way, or because you think it's nice to be nice, but actually there's a really powerful psycholog...
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Sep
01

You’ve decided on mediation — do you still need a divorce attorney? The answer may surprise you.

2019-10-10-2
Divorce lawyers really do get a bad rap. Many folks see them as blood-thirsty demons who'll try their best to turn a squabble into a war and suck your bank account dry in the process. So if you're exploring mediation as a more peaceful way of handling your separation, it would make sense if you were a little leery of attorneys in general. But is th...
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