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Dedicate to Collaborate

Reflections from a peacemaking lawyer and mediator dedicated to collaborative problem-solving.

Peacemaking

Nancy Retsinas
Dec
01

The real reason I’m in law – and how it’s shaping what I do next.

When I first passed the bar and started working in a private firm back in 1991, my mentors pointed me in two directions: first, to juvenile delinquency court to provide indigent defense services to juveniles charged with crimes; and second, to the Clark County Volunteer Lawyers Program (CCVLP) to volunteer with their family law legal aid clinic. I ...
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defense services Clark County Volunteer Lawyers Program family law
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Guest — Dana Greyson
Hmmm. Now I'm really curious to hear what's next for you. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's awesome and you will rock at it.
Wednesday, 04 December 2019 19:46
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Nancy Retsinas
Jul
05

Co-parenting problem-solving: 7 questions to ask yourself when emotions are running high.

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From the minute that blue line appears on the pregnancy test you find yourself thrown into a world of never-ending decisions. Some may be less significant (which range of prenatal vitamin should you choose?), and some may be life-changing (should baby be brought up with Mom's religious beliefs or Dad's?) but while you're going through them, they ca...
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decisions respect breaks co-parenting divorce relationship
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Nancy Retsinas
May
22

How to use mediation techniques to build a positive co-parenting relationship after divorce

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How to use mediation techniques to build a positive co-parenting relationship after divorce After a contentious divorce, your ex is the last person you want to talk to — you'd probably be happy to avoid them forever more. But, if you have children together, you're stuck with each other for the foreseeable future, divorce settlement or not. So how d...
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Nancy Retsinas
Mar
06

How to talk to your children about divorce

How to talk to your children about divorce
Whether they have the memory of an elephant or a fruit fly, there is one moment I guarantee your children are likely to remember for years to come: the divorce talk. That's a lot of pressure to handle, especially when you're going through your own emotional turmoil. So the first thing I want to do is reassure you that "the talk" absolutely doesn't ...
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Nancy Retsinas
Feb
06

What to do when “sorry” seems to be the hardest word to say.

What to do when “sorry” seems to be the hardest word to say.
"Sorry" can be a hard word to say. It's another way of saying, "I got it wrong", "I messed up", "I'm not perfect". Admitting that to yourself can be hard, never mind putting it out there for other people to hear. But you're human, which means that you will screw up at some point — at work, with your spouse, your parents, your kids, and your friends...
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Nancy Retsinas
Jan
09

The Butterfly Effect: Why We Should Make 2019 a Year of Collaboration, Not Conflict

The Butterfly Effect: Why We Should Make 2019 a Year of Collaboration, Not Conflict
We just can't help it. As soon as the ball drops in Times Square, we start thinking self-improvement.  The questions begin: how do I avoid the same mistakes I made last year? How do I become the best version of myself? How do I make this year a year of health and happiness, a year of progress, and a year of peace?  And sure, there are som...
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This will be my year of collaboration.
Thursday, 10 January 2019 10:04
Nancy Retsinas
Oh Nan, you've been collaborating for years!!!!
Thursday, 10 January 2019 19:41
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Nancy Retsinas
Dec
19

5 Mediation-Inspired Tips for Keeping Calm During the Holidays

5 Mediation-Inspired Tips for Keeping Calm During the Holidays
I bet every single one of you can remember at least one awkward holiday meal ruined by tactless family members, heated political debate, or the airing of past grievances. Even the happiest, most peace-loving families can begin to show a few cracks over the pumpkin pie.  And just think, we get to do it all again this month for Christmas! When i...
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Nancy Retsinas
Nov
28

The Most Important “Language” You Can Speak This Holiday Season

The Most Important “Language” You Can Speak This Holiday Season
There's nothing quite like the moment where a perfectly lovely family dinner takes a turn for the tense. Whether it's a political disagreement, old hurts resurfacing, or just the very logical result of a bunch of tired, stressed people getting up close and personal, it's never fun to have the conversation devolve. Depending on how your family deals...
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Nancy Retsinas
Oct
03

Power dynamics at play: how to resolve financial conflicts in a peaceful way.

Power dynamics at play: how to resolve financial conflicts in a peaceful way.
You know what it's like when you're newly in love: you feel like you would do absolutely anything for your partner. What does it matter if you're a high flyer and he's earning peanuts? Love means unconditional support, right? Right! At least for a while. Then life gets in the way; love can fade and responsibilities tend to grow. Suddenly that discr...
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Nancy Retsinas
Sep
18

What Do You Really Get Out of Mediation?

What Do You Really Get Out of Mediation?
If you've never been to mediation, you might not be totally sure what you actually get out of the whole process. For instance, is it just someone to scribe your agreements? Is it just a conversation? What do you actually get out of the whole process? There's so much more to mediation –– and many of the "end products" that mediators can provide actu...
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It's good to know what actually happens at mediation. I like how you said that there are a lot of end products that mediation can ... Read More
Friday, 16 November 2018 13:17
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Nancy Retsinas
Aug
22

What actually happens in mediation?

What actually happens in mediation?
It's a hazard of the job – people tend to come to me with some very strange ideas of what mediation actually entails. Some people have the idea that it's basically just lawyers doing typical lawyer things, like a kind of court-lite. Others come in with the idea that we're going to just talk and talk until we grind everyone in the room down to a com...
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Guest — RIdley
It's good to know more about what actually happens during mediation. My brother is going to separate with his wife soon, so I'll m... Read More
Wednesday, 14 November 2018 12:14
Guest — Nancy Retsinas
It's good to know all the options before moving forward, for sure. I tell folks to figure out the 'how' before beginning to talk a... Read More
Wednesday, 14 November 2018 12:36
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Nancy Retsinas
Aug
08

Six questions to ask yourself to keep a difficult conversation on track

Six questions to ask yourself to keep a difficult conversation on track
"We need to talk." These may be the four most feared words in the English language. Because as we all know from experience, what happens next is usually pretty ugly. You know how it goes: Say you've got a big deadline at work. On Monday, you asked your partner for help cleaning up this week. On Thursday, you come home late and tired to three days w...
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Nancy Retsinas
Jul
25

What’s the difference between a disagreement and a conflict and a dispute? (Hint: just knowing this one thing can help you solve some seriously stubborn problems.)

What’s the difference between a disagreement and a conflict and a dispute? (Hint: just knowing this one thing can help you solve some seriously stubborn problems.)
You'd think that when it comes down to it, a fight is a fight is a fight. No matter what you call it, you've still got two sides trying to get their needs met, two people not getting what they want, and one big problem to be solved, right? Actually ... wrong. A disagreement is different from a conflict, which is again different from a dispute – ​ a...
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Nancy Retsinas
Jul
11

6 Ground Rules for Resolving Disputes

6 Ground Rules for Resolving Disputes
Imagine for a minute that it's 200 years ago. We have the medical technology to do surgery, and survival rates are OK. But surgery always involves a great deal of violence to the body. A simple thing like removing an inflamed appendix might mean that you have to open up a person's abdomen entirely, rather than making the tiny incision required toda...
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Nancy Retsinas
Jun
27

The 3 mindset shifts you need to solve complex conflicts

June-2018-2
Figuring out a solution to a complex conflict is almost never totally straightforward, never mind easy or fun. (After all, it's called dispute resolution for a reason.) But some conflicts are more complicated than others simply because of the factors involved. Situations in which spouses are living in real estate purchased by their soon- to-be-ex's...
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Nancy Retsinas
Jun
14

Why Quitting Court was the Best Decision I’ve Ever Made — For Myself and My Clients

Why Quitting Court was the Best Decision I’ve Ever Made — For Myself and My Clients
Imagine that it's 1991. I've just graduated law school, passed the bar, and am tearing up the courtrooms like nobody's business. Divorce cases? Settled. Custody hearings? Taken care of. Business disputes? Done and done. I'd gone into law with an absolute passion for protecting my clients. I'm an advocate right down to my bones — there's nothing I l...
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Nancy Retsinas
May
30

When an Award is More than an Award...

When an Award is More than an Award...
This spring I had the great honor of receiving a Women of Achievement Iris Award — a wonderful tradition of celebrating women leaders in my area. As I stood on the stage, surrounded by women who've shaped not only the community I live in, but their industries as a whole, I was so grateful to be a small part of a much bigger movement. Because while ...
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Guest — Suze Spencer Marshall
Congratulations, Nancy! This is such a well deserved award. Yes, you are one hell of a litigator, but I'm so glad you are in the... Read More
Thursday, 07 June 2018 19:57
Guest — Nancy Retsinas
Thank you Suze!
Friday, 08 June 2018 08:22
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